Richard Moore

From: "Boudewijn Wegerif" <•••@••.•••>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Subject: I'm Losing Patience with My Neighbours, Mr Bush -- by Terry Jones
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 20:05:06 +0100

Dear What Matters list members,

In E-letter WM-118, I reported that the 'invasion' of
Iraq might be underway by today. The massacre has not
begun yet, but listening to Mr Bush talk to a fawning
Congress as he did last night in Washington, it is
clear that it will begin soon, with or without UN
sanction. For Mr Bush is running out of patience.

I am writing a 'serious' E-letter about the power
crazed mindset that makes it possible for George to
organise the massacre of a people because he is running
out of patience with their ruler, his Dad's former
business partner, Saddam Hussein. First, here, on a
lighter note, is what Terry Jones (director of Monty
Python's Life of Brian) has written about the right
George's stand has given him to take pre-emptive action
against neighbours in his street whom he believes are
out to get him.

The comment was published in The Guardian (UK) on
January 25, and forwarded to an undisclosed list by
singer/songwriter Maireid Sullivan today -

In friendship,

Boudewijn (Wegerif)
What Matters Programme


by Terry Jones - The Guardian (UK), Saturday January 25 2003

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for
bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am

For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr
Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop.
They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson
is planning something nasty for me, but so far I
haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to
his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's
got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know -
from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass
Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that
if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't
I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The
police will say that they need evidence of a crime with
which to charge my neighbours.

They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling
about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and
all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans
to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be
secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in
the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I
reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until
recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however,
George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do
is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do
whatever I want!

And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out
policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about
international peace and security. The one certain way
to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting
the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that
have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and
kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach
him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop
peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.

Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before
bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and
that he has  weapons of mass destruction - even if no
one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much
justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and
children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.

Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer
place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'.
It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you
ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush
know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every
single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only
a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What
about would-be terrorists?   These are the ones you
really want to eliminate, since most of the known
terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already
eliminated themselves.

Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could
possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure
he's achieved his objective until every Muslim
fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims
might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really
safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all

It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are
just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other
people in the street who I don't like and who - quite
frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really
safe until I've wiped them all out.

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her
I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the
United States. That shuts her up.

Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a
good enough reason for the President, it's good enough
for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks -
no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all
aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws
and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they
don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm
going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing -
and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will
destroy only one street.

Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited

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