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From: "Bills"
Subject: Giz a Job!
To: •••@••.•••
Date: Wed, 4 Feb 2004 18:23:25 GMT
RESUME
George W. Bush
The White House,
USA
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
* I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for
driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid
a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not
available.
MILITARY:
* I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I
refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my
drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was
able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE:
* I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I
was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
* I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
* I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas,
in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil
in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all
my stock.
* I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart
deal that took land using taxpayer money.
* With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in
the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
* I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil
companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the
Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the
most smog-ridden city in America.
* I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune
of billions in borrowed money.
* I set the record for the most executions by any governor
in American history.
* With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and
my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became
President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
* I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office
with a criminal record.
* I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost
of over one billion dollars per week.
* I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the
U.S. Treasury.
* I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in
U.S. history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies
filed in any 12-month period.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period.
* I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the
history of the U.S. stock market.
* In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost
their jobs and that trend continues every month.
* I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest
of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest
millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her.
* I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a
U.S. President.
* I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
* My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my
best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest
corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
* My political party used Enron private jets and corporate
attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court
during my election decision.
* I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton
against investigation or prosecution. More time and money
was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has
been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate
rip-offs in history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history
and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil
industry was revealed.
* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.
history.
* I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to
be awarded government contracts.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
than any President in U.S. history.
* I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
* I've broken more international treaties than any President
in U.S. history.
* I am the first President in U.S. history to have the
United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights
Commission.
* I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
* I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of
war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the
Geneva Convention.
* I am the first President in history to refuse United
Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
* I set the record for the fewest number of press
conferences of any President since the advent of television.
* I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any
one-year period.
* After taking off the entire month of August 2001, I
presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
* I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World
Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the
U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest
failure of diplomacy in world history.
* I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide
to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million
people), shattering the record for protest against any
person in the history of mankind.
* I am the first President in U.S. history to order an
unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation
of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the
United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world
community.
* I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and
support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and
their families-in wartime.
* In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons
for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British
friends.
* I am the first President in history to have a majority of
Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
world peace and security.
* I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker
Buster," a WMD.
* I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama
Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in
my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
* All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading
and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public view.
* All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
--
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"...the Patriot Act followed 9-11 as smoothly as the
suspension of the Weimar constitution followed the
Reichstag fire."
- Srdja Trifkovic
There is not a problem with the system.
The system is the problem.
Faith in humanity, not gods, ideologies, or programs.
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