Bush confesses: “How I stole the election”


Richard Moore

Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004 22:44:11 -0700 (MST)
From: Evan Daniel Ravitz <•••@••.•••>
To: •••@••.•••
Subject: Mea culpa from President Bush (fwd)
X-Virus-Status: Clean

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 09 Nov 2004 14:30:14 -0800
From: George W. Bush <•••@••.•••>
To: •••@••.•••
Subject: How I stole your election (ha ha ha ha!!!)

How I Stole Your Election
by George W. Bush

The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends
with ALL the manufacturers and code-verifyers of the Electronic
Voting Machines.  They were really nice, especially Diebold who gave
me $600,000 for my campaign.  Wow, thanks dude!


Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to
either alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines
(simple PCs running windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or
reprogram (via a downloadable software patch) the voting machines
themselves so that they would give the advantage to ME!  Isn't
America great?!?  A little money and some religious zealotry goes a
looooong, loooong way.  Oh, the religious zealotry thing?  That's
just a cover.  I'm not really a Christian -- or at least I don't act
like one.  Anyway, I digress.


Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the
exit polls were in prior elections?  No.  That's because they
basically ARE accurate.  But this election, the exit polls showed
Kerry WAY ahead.  No problem.  My buddies rigged the machines (and
all they needed to do was rig it in one state, Ohio, but they took
care of at least Florida for me too) not only to make me squeak by
in the important battleground states, like Florida and Ohio, but
they also made sure that when I did get a state that I was expected
to win, the margin was HUGE so that my "popular" vote would make it
look like I had a mandate.

So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again.  Let's say
we didn't want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry
really would have won (except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take
those! heh heh).  So we let him win there, but in order once again
to boost the "popular" vote (I put that in quotes because as you
know, I'm not REALLY popular), we bring my vote tallies RIGHT UP
NEXT to Kerry's, to jack up the "popular" vote as much as possible,
even if I didn't win the state.

Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal
the state anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were
telling everyone.... and according to the long, long lines of new
voters were telling everyone ... because we all know most of those
people were voting for Kerry, not the status quo), so we just jack
the crap out of the vote total to REALLY stuff a crapload of
"popular" votes in my pocket.  You see, this way I can get on the TV
and declare that I have a "mandate" and that I'm going to "cash in"
on my political "capital" (which I don't really have of course, but
we made it look that way).

Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean.  Take special note of
how the electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot
totals.  And see what I mean about North Carolina?

Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going
to have to impeach me.  But you know what, if you don't have
verifiable paper trails at the polls like these folks recommend (
http://openvotingconsortium.org/ ), and if you don't take these
voting machines out of the hands of private companies that are
aligned with one end of the political spectrum, then I'm gonna just
continue to hose you (and then my brother Jeb will be president too
cause we're into this dynasty thing, kind of like my buddies the
Saudis... ain't it cool?!?).  Also, in 2006, we're going to steal
about five more senate seats, and then we'll have the
"super-majority".  That means the Democrats can't do that confounded
fillerbs... fillas.... fillbusters.... CRAP, well, they can't get in
the darn way any more and we can pass ANY laws we want about
ANYTHING and put whoever we want on the Supreme court.  Ha ha, then
you're REALLY screwed.  So if you don't fix this mess (I mean great
system) in two years and have a verifiable voting system nationwide,
America is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my daddy's and Cheney's and
Rove's... hey, we could even pass a law saying I could be president
for FOUR MORE YEARS after 2008!  That would be SOOO cool!)  Anyway,
I digress once again.


And that pesky Bev Harris.  Man I wish she would go away. If too
many of you contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so


I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh
CRAP, I forgot again.  Well how about this?  "This would be a heck
of lot easier if this was [grammar incorrect] a dictatorship....
just so long as I'm the dictator.  Heh, heh."  Well, sorry to say
folks, but I got my way.  What are you gonna do about it, huh?
Bring it on!!!


"Sincerely" Yours, "President" George W. Bush

P.S.  Pass it on!  I dare ya.

Evan Ravitz          303 440 6838           •••@••.•••
Vote to Ratify the National Initiative at http://Vote.org
Photo Adventures:                         http://Vote.org/photos
Bush vs the Pope!                         http://Vote.org/Bush
Sins of the father Bush                   http://Vote.org/silence
NORAD's self-incriminating news release   http://Vote.org/911

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Richard Moore (rkm)
Wexford, Ireland

"Global Transformation: Whey We Need It And How We Can Achieve It", current 
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